We launched two weeks ago. We had great response for the initial week, then I, Lemuel, was immediately hospitalized for some freak diaphragmatic hernia that required 5 hours of surgery to repair. Was in the hospital for a total of 7 days. Now we are back. (No biggie — well, maybe a little, no deadlines were missed, though.)
While we were out, NASA launched a moon mission, a jar of Nutella went viral, and the Sony community lost its mind. We covered all of it.
Welcome to Issue No. 2.
User u/SonyShooter_Meridian has been frame-advancing through the NASA livestream for three days. “Nobody is asking the real question,” he wrote. “Why does a jar of hazelnut spread have a hot shoe?” Sony Alpha Rumors cited three sources. NASA has not confirmed the object was food. Ferrero has not confirmed it was theirs.
Apple Declares the Professional Photographer “Obsolete” (With Just 80 Hours of Training and a Lighting Crew)
The iPhone 2P puts professional-grade results in everyone’s hands. Apple demonstrated this with non-photographers, 80 hours of training, 60 years of collective coaching, and a dedicated professional lighting crew stationed at each subject’s home. The supplemental class is $1,300.
King Charles Declines Easter Address, Announces He Shoots Sony Instead
The King did not issue a Holy Week greeting this year. He announced instead that he has taken up photography and that he shoots Sony. The response from the Sony community has been described by observers as historically unprecedented.
Photographer Found Unconscious Beneath 28,978 Memory Cards He Refused to Reformat
Gerald Finch, 43, of Cleveland, Ohio, was discovered by his wife the night before a wedding shoot. He had been looking for one card he could reformat. He had been looking for some time. The shelving had other plans.
Wedding Photographer Escapes Police Custody Through Rear Window, Cites Scheduling Conflict
Ashley, 23, exited the rear window of a Muskegon Heights Police Department SUV and departed on foot. She had an engagement session in an hour. She could not disappoint her clients. She did not.
Man Proposes to Girlfriend Using Friend as Photographer; Community Rebukes Him, Cites Exhibit A
The resulting image has since become the most cited argument for hiring a professional photographer in the continental United States. The community did not let it go. It has not let it go. It will not let it go.
The Tog Times Index
% of photographers who believe the “Nutella jar” was a Sony A1 II: 38
% of those who have enhanced the NASA livestream frame themselves: 38
% who believe they could have shot the moon better than the Artemis II crew: 71
% of those who shoot Nikon: 71
Nikon bodies purchased by photographers during the 10-day lunar mission: 4,100
% of buyers who cited “the Artemis II coverage” as motivation: 12
% who were already planning to buy one: 12
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That is Issue No. 2. Issue No. 3 arrives May 1st. Forward this to your circle of photographers who don’t need the distraction, but is dying for one.
Confidently and permanently yours,
The Editorial Staff
The Tog Times